How To Be A Perfect Mom
We all want to be the perfect mom, we honestly just don't know how. Lucky for you, I created this simple piece that will have you being the perfect mother quicker than you can say, Mama Mia!
If you want to be the perfect mom, you must do all you can for your kids. But not everything because you'll end up raising snobs and setting them up for failure. You must cherish your children completely but please, don't be all extra about it. You must never complain about your little ones but don't only say good things. Stop being such a fake. So be honest but stop complaining. At least you have children! And please don't be one of those fake moms on social media who obsess over their children, never being genuine about how difficult parenthood really is.
I hope by now you're grasping how ridiculous all of this advice is, but let's continue.
A perfect mom has her own sense of self and always looks nice. But a perfect mother isn't vain so stop worrying so much about yourself. Don't get fat though because your kids look up to you and you don't want them to follow in your obese footsteps. So work out and be healthy but not too much because time is precious and you will never get this time with your children back. On that note, never, ever, wear a bikini because only slutty moms do that. Oh, but model healthy body image to your children because you don't want to be the reason they can't succeed in life.
Exclusively breastfeed your baby. Of course breast is best but don't do it in front of others. For crying out loud, go find a private room. You're a mother and need to have some self respect. Only selfish moms formula feed, but better to give your baby formula than to pop your boob out in public.
Stay-at-home moms are amazing and the epitome of sacrifice and true love, but seriously when are you going to get a job because what do you do all day? Working mothers are the perfect example of modern womanhood, but they are so selfish to put a career before their children. Put your children into daycare because their lives can't revolve around just you but why did you even bother to have children if you can't take care of them yourself?
Protect your children, at all costs, from this sometimes cruel world. Don't raise them in a bubble though because they need to learn what it's really like. Teach your children to go after their own passions but never let them quit anything. Allow your kids to express themselves and stand up for their own opinions, just never against you because who is the parent here?
Always put your partner first but never before your children. You must be a mother before a woman but don't let yourself go, you should still be the carefree girl he fell in love with just not too wild because now you're a mother.
Perfect mothers understand that everything they do will be considered completely wrong by somebody. Perfect moms also know that to those little ones that matter most, you have been the perfect mom since day one.
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